Beautiful Heartbreak

Ever since I was very little, I was raised on music. My Grandpa Antone played the trumpet in the Starlighters Jazz Band and my eyes always lit up with enthusiasm when he told me those stories. We would listen to hours of music together along with my Grandma Fern. Classical and Jazz music filled that time while he told me stories of his childhood memories. Music has been a part of who I am since I can remember. It has always been a joke that my life is a musical and that I can relate about everything I am doing to a song. My mom does it too! Looking back on High School, often my favorite memories were found in Symphonic Band playing the saxophone with my good friend Kyrie or Jazz Band.

About every second of the day, I have a song stuck in my head. Music has the power to influence our emotions and drive what we do. As an EFY counselor, I encouraged youth to find uplifting music while at the same time encouraging myself away from degrading music. Honestly, it is hard! Elder Russell M. Nelson in The Power and Protection of Worthy Music stated, "Worthy music is powerful. It has the power to make us humble, prayerful, and grateful." I found that to be very true. My range of music has greatly broadened and I have a great appreciation for all genres of music.

Music was a great drive for me in College. Often times I found myself being caught up with those that walked on campus with earphones consuming me instead of enjoying the world around me. But after trying to talk to those same people as a missionary, I do not think that I will find myself in that same crowd! It was very frustrating to have them completely ignore us while they listened to music (or at least pretended to).

It will not come as a surprise that through all of this medical drama that music has been a huge comfort. Mindy Gledhill was a very great influence on the mission with songs like River God, Small Enough, I Will Rest in You, and Garden Walls. Sometimes I debated writing her a thank you note but it has not happened...Yet! Other favorites were Kalai, Every Word by Debra Fotheringham, I Am His Daughter by Nicole Sheahan, and Let It Begin By Julie Yardley. Music even has a powerful influence on the mission and I learned a great lesson from my companion Sister Pelfrey. You even have to be careful of what you listen to on your mission even if it is generally accepted by other missionaries. She taught me a lot of important lessons!

After I got home, He is We one of my most favorite bands hit again with Love Life, and And Run. But I think I finally found a song that wins the prize. Hilary Weeks wins my heart and story with Beautiful Heartbreak. I think this officially describes not only how I feel with recent medical drama but previous ones as well. Let's just say I'm in love!

Click to view Music Video!

I had it all mapped out in front of me,
Knew just where I wanted to go;
But life decided to change my plans,
And I found a mountain in the middle of my road.

I knew there was no way over it,
So I searched for a way around;
Brokenhearted I started climbin',
And at the top I found...

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights;

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I never dreamed my heart would make it,
I thought about turning around;
But heaven has shown me miracles,
I never would have seen from the ground.

Now I take the rain with the sunshine,
Cause there's one thing that I know;
He picks up the pieces,
Along each broken road.

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.